October 27, 2009

• Survey because I'm too uncomfortable and stressed to sleep.

  Nine things about yourself:

  1. I'm pregnant. It's all I think about and I'm a little shocked when I forget for a few minutes. It still blows my mind that it actually worked.
  2. I love, love, love my husband. I also look up to him and admire him. (Did I TELL you he just got 100% on an exam???) He wasn't the easy choice, but he was the right choice. And my favorite choice I've ever made. I can't imagine myself being any happier if I had waited for what I thought I wanted.
  3. I used to think I needed "Girl Time." But I don't. I often enjoy it, but usually still wish Jeremy was there. I also used to think I was a feminist. But I'm not. I'm more of a humanist. I want to be respected as a strong, smart, capable woman, but I also think it's okay to be a damsel in distress sometimes.
  4. I question everything. EVERYTHING. Usually on a daily basis. I'm constantly debating my goals, my desires, my moral code, my beliefs. The only think I'm sure of is that I need my husband in my life. I'm terrified of him dying anytime within the next 80 years.
  5. I hope that when we get to heaven, we can choose what we want to remember and what we don't want to remember. I have a few months/moments I'd like to have erased. And I'd like to have a say about what Jeremy gets to remember. Haha. He can erase my first kiss if I can have my own eraser for him. Our first kiss was infinitely better anyway.
  6. I probably get on people's nerves for talking about my husband so much. Actually, I know I do. I'm really sorry, I really am. I just can't help it. Sometimes I feel like he's all I have. Which isn't true. I have a great family. I blame the pregnancy hormones. They make me so dang mushy. (But two days ago I vowed to be angry at him for at least a year. Moodswings.)
  7. I only wish I could walk so that I could dance with Jeremy and sneak up on him. I'd have to teach to dance him first. But if I'd never had my accident, I probably never would have ended up marrying him. No, I'm sure I wouldn't have. So I'm grateful. We'll dance in the next life. I'd also like to be able to look good in a dress and heels for once. I've never worn heels in my 23 years.
  8. Even if I were to someday decide or find out that my faith and religion is completely untrue, I'd still be immensely grateful to have grown up and navigated my adolescence with those values and standards. It gave me so much confidence and helped me avoid so much heartache. I'd have a hard time leaving.
  9. I have an intense phobia that very few people know about. I'm too scared they'll use it against me.

  Eight ways to win your heart:

  1. Humor. I love to laugh.
  2. Ice Cream
  3. Doing good impressions of people. Not necessarily famous people though. Just people.
  4. Romance in general. Flowers, mood music, candles, little surprises, hidden notes.
  5. Deep, intellectual conversations that make me think about what I really think.
  6. Little gestures and acts of kindness. Knowing someone is/was thinking about me.
  7. Surprises in general
  8. Hugs and unexpected kisses

  Seven things that cross your mind a lot:

  1. Jeremy/my marriage
  2. My baby
  3. Food
  4. Career vs. Stay at Home Mom debate
  5. My family back home (and here)
  6. School work
  7. Homosexuality. I know that sounds weird but it just perplexes me. I want to understand it.

  Six things you wish you never did:

  1. I never should have tried to wait for Jeremy to tell me he loved me first. I should have just told him but I had this thing that guys had to say it first. Maybe I could have spared myself some pain. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered. I don't know.
  2. Wasted so many semesters on majors I didn't love.
  3. This is the hardest category so far. I hate it when people claim to live with no regrets, because you SHOULD regret stupid decisions, but I guess I don't have many regrets.
  4. I wish I hadn't tried to please everyone else at my wedding.
  5. I wish I hadn't been such a complete dork in elementary, middle, and high school. I had no reason to be so insecure and goofy. I was really smart.
  6. I wish I'd made my move on Jeremy at Close-Up and got an extra year together. High school would have been SO much better.

  Five turn offs in a guy:

  1. Lying/any dishonesty at all
  2. Cheating--whether emotionally or physically
  3. Cockiness/Egotism: thinking being a "man" means you have to be an insensitive jerk.
  4. Facial Hair OF ANY KIND. Eww.
  5. Emotional distance

  Four turn-ons in a guy:

  1. Humor
  2. Dark features
  3. Kindness
  4. Confidence, especially when meeting new people

  Three careers you would consider:

  1. Just about anything at Disney
  2. High School Honors Literature/History teacher
  3. Stay-at-Home-Mom

  Two things you want before you die:

  1. To see all my kids grow into happy, healthy, smart, and kind adults with good marriages of their own. If that's what they want.
  2. Travel all over the world with Jeremy.

  One confession:

  1. I'm relieved to be having a girl. I know that's terrible. I still want a boy someday, but boys seem so much scarier. I don't wanna debate with Jeremy about circumcision, worry about higher autism rates, try to keep them morally clean from pornography and girls, cringe while they play football, and all the other things that terrify me about boys.

  • 2:58 am
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