December 8, 2009
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The Santa Claus Debate
So this baby isn't even born yet but I'm already having the Santa Claus debate in my head. I have no real issue with Santa Claus. I quite like him actually. I don't think people are trying to use him to replace Christ or anything like that. I know there are some religious people who try to cut Santa out of their Christmas completely but I don't feel that way. Besides, the kids are exposed to Santa at school anyway. I grew up knowing what Christmas was REALLY about, and never got Christ confused with Santa. I think he's fun and helps make Christmas morning a magical event for those first few years of a child's life. However, I DO want Christmas in our home to be more focused on the Savior, Jesus Christ, than on Santa or gifts. I also don't want my kids thinking I lied to them. I didn't feel that way as a child when I found out Santa wasn't real, but I know some do and feel utterly betrayed.
I don't know if I was ever a true believer. If I was, I was to young to remember. I only remember having doubts about Santa Claus. One year a few weeks before Christmas I found a huge Barbie Dream House in my parents closet that later came from "Santa." I told my parents privately after I opened it that I'd already seen it and knew it was from them. I think my mom called me a "little snot" for peeking, haha. I know that sounds mean but she meant it with love. I wonder what she called Lauren when Lauren used a screwdriver to take off the locked doorknob to the extra bedroom in the basement where all the gifts were hidden...haha. Lauren was older then though, like 5th or 6th grade. I didn't tell mom what Lauren had done until after Christmas...but I had to make sure Lauren didn't tell me what I was getting. I wanted to be surprised! I've always loved surprises.
I noticed in kindergarten that Santa and my mom had the same handwriting and wrapping paper. (My mom covered that one well though, she said Santa didn't wrap gifts so she had to wrap them for him.) I also had major issues with why poor kids didn't get nice presents like I did. Why wouldn't Santa give them extra special gifts since they didn't get special birthdays or even basic needs met? When I finally asked my Dad if Santa was real, he said yes, and I trusted my Dad more than anyone. I asked him how he knew and he said it was because he had seen Santa as a child. I was skeptical, but he convinced me that he'd seen the real Santa. And of course, he had. He'd once snuck out of bed and caught his parents setting out the gifts as being "Santa." I didn't feel like he lied to me. Even at the time I figured he was talking about his parents. I kinda wanted to believe in Santa, but it wasn't a big deal for me. I knew my parents were just making it special for me. I didn't feel betrayed or anything. And I never had a big moment when I realized he wasn't real. I just gradually grew out of it. Pretty early, mostly because of the poor kids thing. I could swallow the idea of him riding around the world in one night, but I couldn't believe that a man as nice and kind as Santa wouldn't give poor kids a lot of really neat stuff. I think I believed in him far longer than the tooth fairy or Easter Bunny, but that's only because I never really believed in them at all. Also my mom said anyone who didn't believe in Santa didn't get presents so I played along for a while. She just didn't want me to spoil it for my younger sisters. And I also didn't want to spoil it for my parents that I was growing up. Even at five years old, I knew it would make them sad to think I didn't wholeheartedly believe in Santa and reindeer.
So for our kids, I don't think we'll make a huge deal about Santa. Maybe he will just bring one gift. Like something that an elf could have made. So no Easy Bake Oven or Barbie dolls, but maybe something handmade from Etsy. That was another issue of mine. I knew Barbie was made by Mattel. Not elves.
And when they ask me if Santa is real, I will just ask what THEY think, and make sure that they understand that it's not nice to try to influence how their friends think. We'll have to play it by ear after that.
What was your experience with Santa Claus? What kind of experience do you want your kids to have?
Comments (2)
I think Santa is more of a representation of the spirit of Christmas, giving, and service than an actual fat man with a beard who flies around in the middle of the night. Santa brings gifts, yes. But Santa also just represents good things. He is not a substitute for Christ and I think the two can be explained in different ways, but they do have parallels as well. I think it's horrible for parents to tell they're very young children that he doesn't exist. To me, that is just crushing a child's dream - and they go to school and tell all the other kids and cause problems for other parents too! - but I think it also means the parents don't have the spirit of Christmas in their hearts. Growing up we would also get gifts from elves. Like when "The Santa Clause" came out, the elf's name was Bernard. Well, my big present that year came from Bernard. I knew it was my dad's handwriting, but it was still fun. My parents also hid presents for us and gave us a card with hints to finding it. I don't think there is a black and white decision about Santa, I just think he is a cheerful and jolly representation of good things in the world. And yes, so is the Savior. And you can approach it all in such a way that your children will not feel betrayed and that they will know the difference between the two (and of course, your children won't just be taught about Christ at Christmas so they'll know the difference :p). As they get older they can use their childhood innocence to connect that to Christ and what He does and they can better understand it all. I think Santa is wonderful. He still comes to our house. It's fun after all!
I grew up Jewish, so I never believed in Santa. I've had the debate of whether or not to do Santa stuff as well. I think we probably will, but I haven't put much thought into it.
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